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Glossary of Narcissistic Personality Traits and Behaviours



1. Gaslighting

A manipulative tactic where the narcissist makes a person question their own memory, perception, or sanity. Example: denying abusive events ever happened.


2. Love Bombing

Overwhelming someone with excessive affection, gifts, and attention at the start of a relationship to gain trust and control.


3. Devaluation

The stage where the narcissist shifts from idealising someone to criticising, belittling, or humiliating them.


4. Hoovering

Attempts to “suck” someone back into a toxic relationship after they have left, often through false promises, guilt, or dramatic gestures.


5. Triangulation

Involving a third person to create jealousy, insecurity, or rivalry in order to maintain control.


6. Projection

Accusing others of the very behaviours or feelings the narcissist is guilty of. Example: calling someone unfaithful while being unfaithful themselves.


7. Silent Treatment

Withdrawing communication and affection to punish, control, or destabilise the other person.


8. Flying Monkeys

People the narcissist manipulates into siding with them or carrying out their attacks on others.


9. Smear Campaign

Spreading lies, rumours, or half-truths to damage someone’s reputation and maintain the narcissist’s image.


10. Narcissistic Rage

An intense, disproportionate anger response when the narcissist feels criticised, exposed, or challenged.


11. Entitlement

Believing they deserve special treatment, obedience, or privileges regardless of reality.


12. Exploitation

Taking advantage of others’ kindness, labour, or resources without guilt or reciprocity.


13. Enmeshment

Blurring personal boundaries to maintain control, often making others feel responsible for the narcissist’s emotions.


14. Idealisation

Placing someone on a pedestal at the start of a relationship, portraying them as “perfect” to hook them in.


15. Devaluation Cycle

The repeated loop of idealisation → devaluation → discard → hoovering, which keeps victims trapped.


16. Mirroring

Copying someone’s interests, values, and language to create a false sense of similarity and closeness.


17. Masking

Hiding their abusive or controlling nature by presenting a charming, quiet, or generous persona in public.


18. Pathological Lying

Consistently lying or exaggerating to manipulate, cover abuse, or inflate their image.


19. Boundary Violations

Ignoring or pushing past personal limits, from emotional boundaries to physical space, to test control.


20. Control by Fear

Creating an atmosphere of intimidation, unpredictability, or threats to keep others compliant.




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